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I am taking a short little course in hopes to get some new/fresh ideas of helping my boy deal with stressful situations. Most of you may know that my son has speech issues and we’ve been in therapy for quite a while now. Recently things have not gone so well and I am at a loss as to how to help him since nothing we’ve tried has worked. He just doesn’t want to do it any more and he shuts down or worse, throws a tantrum. So we are taking a break from speech for a few months for two reasons, one, in hopes that all he needs is a break and two, to try to repair the damage of speech becoming an “unsafe” environment for him. My kid is not normally a tantrum thrower. I mean, yes he will get defiant and angry if he is told no but he’s three, this type of situation is normally diffused with a “that’s enough” or” no means no” and we’re done. The situation with speech is not so easily defined because it comes from a deeper, emotional level. All my usual tricks don’t apply or he’s just to far gone to reason with, hence the class – I am learning to ask for help and I’m surprisingly not embarrassed to admit it. In fact, its kind of therapeutic. what it comes down to really is how far I would go to help my child and if it means admitting I don’t know everything so be it.

Part of the class involves discipline and diffusing situations so I post these questions and hope someone will start a discussion!

Do time-outs work for you?

How have you diffused a stressful or highly emotional situation with your child?


 

 

 

 

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Caution!
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My poor kid. He officially has more stitches in his little face than his age right now.

He and the dog had a collision the other night and of course it was the dog that came out unscathed. Just to be clear the dog did not attack him. He swung his head around and the boy just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and if he had been in bed like he was supposed to be we could have avoided this altogether! Accidents happen. It doesn’t help that the dog and the boy are roughly the same height so when Jak turned so quickly there was just no time to avoid it.

Poor boy didn’t see it coming and he was so upset. He kept saying “Jak bit me. Jak bit me, mama.” and crying, meanwhile I am trying to stop the flow of blood. I kept saying it was an accident, he didn’t bite you, he just ran into you, he didn’t mean to do it, but no dice – as far as the boy is concerned Jak bit him. He feels betrayed that his beloved pet would hurt him.

There were no major hysterics like when he gashed his eyebrow but it also wasn’t nearly as serious. And of course he had his white jammies on. Not that I care, clothes are replaceable, its just that the contrast of the blood on his white shirt was adding to his shock. I made him sit on the toilet with a cold compress on his chin while I rinsed his shirt under the tap to show him it would go away and he calmed down considerably after that. He’s a tough little nut.

And then I made the decision that we were going to have to go to the hospital. He had been bleeding in his mouth as well and I thought the dog’s tooth had punctured all the way through. After a mere 3 hour wait with NO ONE else in the waiting room we were finally seen. The doctor couldn’t get a great look at the inside of his mouth and basically said we are going to have to give him something and put at least one stitch on the outside. Then he used the word Ketamine. I almost passed out. I immediately said I was hoping to never have to see him on that stuff ever again, no IV! And for once, the doctor listened to us. My stress level dropped considerably.

Same medication as before but a completely different experience.

He only needed one stitch on the outside, just below his lip. The doctor said it was not punctured through and that most likely the cut on the inside of his lip was from his own teeth when they collided. That made me feel better too, it was definitely not as bad as I had thought it was.

This time the drugs made him all weird and spaced out. It was like he was drunk. When he finally started to come around he was ready to go and you weren’t going to stop him. Except that he’s three and of course I could stop him, but he was determined. He couldn’t talk well, his speech was all slurred but he knew where the door was and kept trying to make his way through it, saying “go now! me go home!”

Overall, not how I want to start spending my time. I am filled with a feeling of dread that the eyebrow incident was only the beginning and I should start keeping record. The doctor said, once its healed up you won’t even be able to see the scar. I replied sorry doc but you are wrong, I am his mother and I will always see it.

I feel like I’ve been on extended holiday for the last month. Not that I have actually been anywhere in particular but life just kinda got away from me for a bit there. I haven’t barely looked at my craft table let alone done anything with it. I stopped reading my blog list. I stopped reading books. And forget about writing, there was just nothing there. Not that I couldn’t find a topic to write about I just had very little incentive to put thoughts to paper…or computer. I was depressed.  I just didn’t know it at the time because I was functioning somewhat normally.

Looking back over the month of December though I can see the signs: not wanting to finish any projects, stress over Christmas and work and  money, zero energy, family commitments, car trouble.

I am sure I am not the only one.

One of the worst things was dealing with the death of my grandfather. It was  heartbreaking.  I was shedding tears of grief for a man that struggled to live for the last 11 years but I was also healing myself. I was overly emotional (for me) and struggled to deal with his death as I had dealt with any others before him. I couldn’t really understand it. I still don’t. In part it probably had to do with the depressive state I was in. It could also be that I was lucky enough to have had all 4 of my grandparents be part of my life until my teen years and since he was the only one I had left it was really hard to see him give up and to have to let him go. Either way the tears helped. I wake up feeling better every day and given the fact I am sitting here typing I think I have gotten over the mental block that has been caging me.

I almost feel like crafting again.

Almost.

I see cute and simple projects like these No-Sew Flowers by Made and they make me smile.  They give me inspiration. I’ve missed that feeling.

So I have projects to finish, starting with a blanket for Izzy. It is partially done at least (more than what is shown in the picture). I just need to sew the bottom half of the quilt sandwich and bind it. Even thinking about it right now has me breaking through this funk I have been wallowing in even more.

Its time to get to work again and get back into the swing of things. Its time to get back to normal (for me).

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