I feel like I’ve been on extended holiday for the last month. Not that I have actually been anywhere in particular but life just kinda got away from me for a bit there. I haven’t barely looked at my craft table let alone done anything with it. I stopped reading my blog list. I stopped reading books. And forget about writing, there was just nothing there. Not that I couldn’t find a topic to write about I just had very little incentive to put thoughts to paper…or computer. I was depressed. I just didn’t know it at the time because I was functioning somewhat normally.
Looking back over the month of December though I can see the signs: not wanting to finish any projects, stress over Christmas and work and money, zero energy, family commitments, car trouble.
I am sure I am not the only one.
One of the worst things was dealing with the death of my grandfather. It was heartbreaking. I was shedding tears of grief for a man that struggled to live for the last 11 years but I was also healing myself. I was overly emotional (for me) and struggled to deal with his death as I had dealt with any others before him. I couldn’t really understand it. I still don’t. In part it probably had to do with the depressive state I was in. It could also be that I was lucky enough to have had all 4 of my grandparents be part of my life until my teen years and since he was the only one I had left it was really hard to see him give up and to have to let him go. Either way the tears helped. I wake up feeling better every day and given the fact I am sitting here typing I think I have gotten over the mental block that has been caging me.
I almost feel like crafting again.
So I have projects to finish, starting with a blanket for Izzy. It is partially done at least (more than what is shown in the picture). I just need to sew the bottom half of the quilt sandwich and bind it. Even thinking about it right now has me breaking through this funk I have been wallowing in even more.
Its time to get to work again and get back into the swing of things. Its time to get back to normal (for me).