My cat fell into a bucket of motor oil. Used motor oil. Now she smells all diesel-y and oilish. I gave her a bath with head and shoulders and it worked about 85% so I may have to try again with dish soap. Don’t ask me why we have buckets of used motor oil just hanging out because I don’t know. It isn’t even ours. So to sum it up, we store used motor oil that doesn’t belong to us in places that cats can fall into. She’s all slick now and boy can’t get as good a grip on her to smother the life out of her hug and cuddle her.

Stupid and bizarre crap like this happens to us all the time. All the time. And as I say that I can’t remember any of the other truly bizarre events that have happened only the really gross and slightly weird stuff. Maybe I’ve repressed them.

We had a porcupine living with us for about 3 days last summer. I named him Fred. he was friendly as porcupines go I suppose, kinda just slow and didn’t care much about anything. of course I’m probably the only one that would think a porcupine was friendly and want to pet him. then he left as quickly as he appeared.

We raised 5 racoons once. my rottweiler wanted to nurse them. we had them from a few weeks old until they were old enough to release. they would follow us around like little racoons follow their real mothers. they were ridiculously cute and loud and smelly. but mostly cute.

my dog got hit by a car and did more damage to the car than to himself. he broke the fog light with his head. he required 3 stitches. I can’t even say it caused brain damage because he was kinda thick before the car hit him.

that same dog also chewed on some bottles that may or may not have had antifreeze in them (we keep those with the oil buckets, you know, just cause) 2 nights in the vet office, a whopping bill and lots of alcohol treatment meant my dog was fine. and now I can honestly say I’ve seen what a dog looks like with a hangover. and it was hilarious.

My rabbit will try to procreate with my cats every time he is out of his cage. Every time. The cats are all fixed but apparently that isn’t a deterrent. I don’t know if its a rabbit thing or an “out of jail” thing. Maybe both because it happens so often.

I’m beginning to think maybe we just have some really messed up animals. Actually I don’t have to think that hard I know that’s true. Don’t get me started on the cat that’s allergic to everything (including, possibly, being a cat).