Last week the doctor took my blood pressure and told me it was 150/90.

That’s kinda bad.

Do you know what your weight is?     Yes.

Would you like to tell me?     No.

I’ll make you stand on the scale.     ….damn.

He decided he needed to do a full work up meaning vials and vials of blood and peeing into cups. right. because me peeing into a cup will somehow give him the answer that has been eluding him for so long. let me give you a hint doc, urinating is not the cause of my stress! well it is now but on a normal day it’s totally not.

How’s work? peachy.

and it was then he put his pen down and looked at me with that doctor look.

You know you are going to have to work to fix this right? Don’t get me wrong I think your parents are wonderful people but you have terrible genes.    …..yep.

And he’s right. diabetes runs very strong on my dad’s side and cancer on my mom’s. I’m not sure but I think that makes me some sort of ticking time bomb. and I get it, its time for a major change in lifestyle. I’ve already had gestational diabetes which can be prevalent in pregnant native women and a precursor for developing adult onset diabetes later in life. if you don’t change your lifestyle that is.

obviously this is not going to happen overnight.  and el doctore wants me to cut out salt and lose weight and he’ll see me again in six weeks.

Crap!

So I cut out Pepsi. I lost 2 pounds in a week. but it is hard to quit cold turkey. HARD. I had headaches. and was very irritable for a couple of days. and then it got better. and then I started craving. bad. that is the problem with “diets” when you cut out something completely your body and mind go crazy and you start to feel like that is the only thing you will ever need or want and you must have it NOW! so I gave in. I drank a can of Dr. Pepper. and I thought to myself moderation. I will not go overboard and drink it all day everyday anymore but once in a while is okay. that I can live with. and I felt better. plus I still lost 2 pounds!

and as for cutting out salt. well not really a problem there seeing as I don’t cook with salt generally and try not to eat a lot of prepackaged food or canned food if possible. so really I’m not sure where the problem is where salt is concerned.

generally speaking stress can cause major blood pressure problems and boy do I have stress!  even my stress has stress. wait is that possible? I’m going to say yes.

Because today I went to the hospital with my mom for her lumpectomy.

And outwardly I think I appear normal. I don’t feel any different anyhow. Maybe some extra worry lines.

So I can see how my pressure would be up, because I keep everything in without any outward emotion but my brain never stops. And the hamsters were doing double duty today.

We had a good outcome though today. The surgery went very well and the doctor was very optimistic. The tumor was removed quickly and easily and her lymph nodes were normal showing no signs of cancer.

So I relaxed a little. And in a few weeks we’ll have the results from the biopsy so until then I will concentrate on me for a bit. I think I need it.

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