This past Saturday my son split his gorgeous little head open when he fell on a box containing some sort of stereo equipment that looked like a hard drive tower. It was very hard plastic and had very sharp edges. Chaos ensued.

As a rule I have never made an issue of injury. Literally I have told people that unless there is blood I don’t worry. I just kiss his “boo boo” and tell him he’s fine. He doesn’t freak out and has learned what needs a kiss, what needs a kiss and a hug, and what doesn’t need anything at all. He’s a tough little nut. this was not one of those cases.

the sound was horrifying. the scream blood-curdling. and the image reminded me of that vision in The Shining when the blood is running down the elevator doors. yeah. there was a hole in his head. a HOLE.

chaos. my husband scooped him up and ran to the kitchen where there was better light, my MIL ran for a paper towel and tried to apply it to the wound, I hollered for her to get a wet cloth (probably not very nicely I might add and I should maybe apologize for that), my FIL was getting irritated because he was trying to understand what happened. the boy was still screaming crying and at this point gasping for air. serious chaos.

I am not sure why but when it involves my kid I have the clearest head in a crisis. the husband panics and doesn’t know which way is up. and I know this is just because he is getting ahead of himself and thinking too much about what needs to be done but that doesn’t help us.  and then he gets mad because he can’t fix it instantly. that doesn’t help either

3 hours later we were finally in trauma room 1 and they were trying to give my kid an IV which I had been fairly adamant about them NOT doing. it wasn’t until my poor little boy screamed out “mama stahh (stop)” did they decide it wasn’t working.  part of me wanted to hurt them as bad as they hurt my baby but I knew that wouldn’t solve anything.

“we’ll give a minute to calm down and we may have to try again on the other side” ACTUALLY NO YOU WON’T. they walked a little faster out of the room at that point.

they gave him “Special K”. Ketamine. it can make them hallucinate and grasp at objects that aren’t there and possibly cry out or babble. it gives them almost an out of body experience. not quite. in fact what it does is make them look lifeless. I never want to see my son looking like that again. I have had nightmares and day-mares and just horrible images popping up in my brain ever since.  and then it took an hour and a half to get him to wake up after not the 15 minutes like she promised. how much of that shit did you give him?

I had to prop his non-injured eye lid open and pinch him all over his body trying to  stimulate a nervous response all the while calling his name for a good 30 minutes before getting anything. when his eye finally dilated I knew he was coming around but it was excruciating. and they had wanted to give him another IV. GET AWAY FROM MY SON.

can you call an ambulance yourself to transport your kid to another hospital because you’ve lost faith in the people running the one you’re at? is that possible? cause that is what I wanted to do. and several parameds came through I wanted to just throw him on the stretcher and say take him here NOW!

so baby had his first set of stitches. and I say first because if he’s anything like his father they won’t be the last. and it was traumatic for everyone.

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its a good thing I see the doctor myself on Thursday because I think I may need to start some blood pressure medication.

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